One of the largest and most common arguments in
marriage is about money. The biggest of
these money disagreements among married couples is the spending of the
money. Money has even been labeled as
one of the top causes for divorce among couples. This is why it is important for couples to
have serious discussions about their finances prior to marriage and especially
at the beginning of their marriage. These
discussions should place importance on preparing for, preventing, and managing
the money conflicts that the couple can expect to arise.
Please keep in mind that it’s normal for married
individuals to want to use their money for different things than their spouse. After all a marriage consists of two separate
individuals, with different views of money, which can cause conflict. Maybe one spouse is a BIG spender and the
other is a saver. These conflicting
spending styles can cause issues in the couple’s marriage, if they do not
compromise and make necessary changes to their spending habits.
Remember that the ideal for couples is to protect
their marriage from divorce by coming to an agreement on who will pay the
bills, be the main bread winner, and how much they will send & save. Though the reality for many couples is often
the opposite where these individuals downplay their differences when it comes
to money or don’t talk about their combined finances at all. This can prove to be unwise for couples once
they marry and are forced to manage their money, together.
Don’t let this conflict interfere with your
marriage! Protect yourselves and your
marriage by doing the following:
Do it together.
Both spouses should be aware of where the money is going. They should come to an agreement on how much
they will spend and on what they will spend their money on. Married couples should also agree on how much
they will save and how to save their money.
It is okay to designate one spouse as the payer of the bills, but both
spouses should be in agreement on who this is.
Finances should be an open discussion among married couples. There should never exist any secret accounts
or expenses; this can only lead to hurt and anger.
Budget together.
Both husband and wife should sit down together and list all their
expenses, so that each knows where the money is going. Both should agree on the amount they are
spending on each expense. They should
agree on the amount for each expense and which expenses remain in the budget. Add a column for savings as well to your
budget.
Together spend less than you make. Regardless of who is the main bread winner or
if both spouses work, they should not spend more than they make combined. So many people today live off of credit cards,
but this is foolish. Married couples
should avoid spending more than they have, no matter what. Of course this doesn’t include a house and
maybe even a vehicle, but these should still be modest purchases. Most people take the max loan they can get
approved for and buy their dream house with it.
These people also buy their dream car with all the bells and whistles
using a high interest loan. Neither an
expensive home or vehicle is necessary; couples are better off learning from
others examples. An expensive home or
vehicle doesn’t mean much if the couple is still paying it off past a
reasonable amount of time.
Save together.
If married couples put away a little money each month, then they are
headed in the right direction. Saving
for a rainy day is one of the smartest things couples can do. No one can predict the future, so it’s always
a good idea to prepare for the unknown.
Money doesn't have to be an issue in marriages, but
it is how married couples handle their money together that will determine
whether or not money becomes an issue.
Please watch the videos below and complete the activity
below, with your spouse:
·
Oprah sad story
(I think this is something we all need to hear. It’s important to remain honest with our
spouse about our purchases and avoid purchases that we cannot afford)
·
The newlyweds money advice
(I didn’t mention joint accounts or the trust that develops
as we are able to view each other’s spending, but I feel both are important)
-Activity:
1. If you do not already have a budget, then please take
this time to create one. For budgeting
help, just CLICK here.
2. Discuss with your spouse how you, as a couple, can
protect your marriage from the potential damage of money conflicts.
By Tawnya
By Tawnya