We’ve all been on a team at one point in our life or
another. Remember back to that
time. What made your team effective or
ineffective? These same principles apply
to healthy and effective marriages.
Each marriage team
equates to one husband and one wife.
Marriage after all is about the two of us, three if you included God.
I highly recommend that you include God in your marriage. Developing and maintaining a relationship
with God will help you treat your spouse the way you promised to treat them on
your wedding day. If you keep
communication open with God, then he will bless you with comfort and strength;
both are needed if you want to have a lasting marriage.
Aside from our relationship with God we as married women and
men have our relationship with our spouse to develop and maintain. This requires that we, as husband and wife,
make our decisions as a team, working
together rather than against one another.
If the decision affects more than just you, then ask yourself what will
help ‘our’ marriage, not me individually.
You’re a team, right? You both have to make individual contributions
in order for the team to win. You have
to split your shared responsibilities equally for that winning marriage you’ve always dreamed of. The division of relationship needs, household
chores, childcare, and workplace responsibilities need to be satisfactory to
both husband and wife.
Your marriage goals should also be satisfactory to the team
and be defined together, so that you both are reaching for the same thing. There are often times that I feel like I’m
giving my all to my marriage, but don’t feel like my efforts are being
reciprocated. I’m so wrapped up in what
I think our marriage needs that I don’t even consider involving my husband in
what I’m doing. This one sided thought
process hasn’t ever done me any good. It
only reminds me that I need to ask my husband what he needs from me, so that I
can feel like I’m making a difference.
You make a difference the most when you support your spouse
during their time of need. Your spousal
support can make the biggest impact when your spouse feels like you’ve got
their back when they’re feeling like it’s them against the world. It is your responsibility as their spouse to
believe in them and help them fulfill their good desires and dreams.
You also make a difference just being you, since you as
husband and wife complement one another.
Your individual and gender differences bless your marriage. Like with
any team, its teammates are unique and have different strengths and fulfill
different responsibilities. For example,
my husband is calmer than me and he is highly educated. His strengths allow him to comfort me and
calm my nerves when I’m stressing out and be the breadwinner for our future family. I, on the other hand, am financially savvy
and naturally good with little children.
This makes it easy to stick to our budget and hopefully be a good fit as
a stay at home mother someday.
Team up with your spouse the next time you’re tempted to go at
it alone. Remember that you’re in this
thing together and that your level of commitment can either strengthen or
damage your marriage. Choose your team over your selfish desires each and
every time. If you include teamwork in
your marriage, then you can overcome life’s challenges together.
*Please watch the following short-video clip and then complete
the activity below with your spouse:
-Activity:
1. How do you and your spouse work as a team in resolving
conflicts?
2. What sports team would you say describes your marriage?
And why?
By Tawnya