Dating
shouldn’t stop once we’re married. We’ve
all heard this before I’m sure. That is
why I encourage you to make a goal to go out on weekly dates; its good advice
after all. I’ve been trying to keep date
night a priority in my own marriage and can definitely see its positive effects
in my own marriage. My husband and I
just recently found out that we’re pregnant and so we definitely are attempting
to take advantage of the free time we have as a couple right now. Once children are in the picture date night
can become more important, but also more difficult to pull off. Though, I will leave that topic for a future
blog devoted to married couples with children.
Let’s first
define what will pass as a date.
A date in this
case refers to a meeting time for married couples to have time away from
others. Time away from others can mean
that you are staying in or going out. If
the kids are in bed and it’s just you and your spouse watching a movie
downstairs I’d say that counts. Other exceptions
might include double or group dates, of course with equal partners
present. The main focus should remain
your spouse and relationship during these dates.
Here are a few
things to keep in mind when planning a
date:
Novel date
activities and dinners are important. According
to an online book called The Date
night Opportunity,
“… research suggests that couples who engage in novel activities that are fun, active,
or otherwise arousing—from hiking to dancing to travel to card games—enjoy
higher levels of relationship quality” (Dew & Wilcox 2012). When couples enter a routine life together a
spontaneous date and new or innovative date activity can chuck the predictability
of their relationships out of the window.
It can be easy to just go out to dinner and a movie every Friday night
with the spouse. This doesn’t
necessarily cut it for many couples, who might find this usual and repeated
date itinerary to be boring. The best
cure for this boring date night set up is to deviate from the normal or
usual. Instead go do sometime more
active or interactive together, such as going on a hike, volunteering at a
local shelter, seeing a comedy show or concert.
Over time the
butterfly feelings we get when we see or are with our spouse may decline, but
you can put the spark back in your marriage as you try new things and create
new experiences with your spouse. If
you’re feeling like the passion and romance is gone, then rekindle the romance
in your marriage this week with a fun and exciting date you both can agree on.
Also remember
to take turns and choose activities or restaurants that each you and your
spouse would like to try and do. Maybe
there’s something you’ve always wanted to try; why not cross it off your list
and share that experience with your spouse on a date.
Remember date
night doesn’t have to break the bank and there are plenty of ideas out there
for those on a budget. If you’re in need
of some ideas that won’t burn a hole in your pocket, try searching cheap date ideas online or on Pinterest.
With this being said, a lack of money is no excuse to avoid being
creative when it comes to weekly date night.
Of course dates don’t necessarily need to be at night each week and in
fact going out for breakfast or an early hike can be novel enough for couples. If
going out for lunch and an afternoon walk is out of norm for you and your
spouse, then try it out for yourselves.
The consequence
of not prioritizing weekly dates is that your marriage will feel the effects and
your spouse will sense your lack of commitment.
This is why it is so important to make an effort to keep weekly dates
happening each week. Life is full of so
many distractions and you can get busy very easily if you are not making time
for quality time with your spouse. Don’t
let the busyness of life stop you from keeping date night alive after your
married!
If you’re looking for an even
bigger challenge, then I suggest taking quarterly getaways with your spouse.
For more
information about The Date night
Opportunity check out:
*Please watch
the following clip and then complete the activity below with your spouse:
-Activity:
1. List the
best date you’ve ever been on. (Try and keep
it to the dates you’ve been on with your spouse)
2. List a dream
date you would like to go on with your spouse.
(Please list and activity or a restaurant you’d like to try)
3. Plan a date
for later this week to go on with your spouse.
Write it down on a piece of paper and then put it in a hat or bowl,
along with your spouses. Decide who will
pull from the hat and then pull one of the pieces of paper out and make it
happen by the end of the week.
By Tawnya